Jordan Rane
They're not the worst cities in the world, they're the best at bugging
people. Introducing the places guaranteed to swing your mood southward
The worst thing that could ever be said about a city is not that it merits “top 10 most hated” status.
No, the worst thing that could ever be said about a city is that it’s not even worth discussing.
Say what you like about these 10 places (and lots of people do), they
all prompt conversation. OK, plenty of critical conversation according
to our findings, but we mean that in the most positive light.
So let’s re-name this one “10 cities travelers most love to hate” --
and secretly hope that they remain, if not “awfully beautiful,” at least
“beautifully awful” to some degree.
Because who really wants a world full of Vancouvers and Stockholms?
10. Belize City
Few tropical outposts less than a three-hour
flight from Dallas have spawned as many alluring Sunday travel section
taglines as Belize -- a diving and cruise ship magnet that has been
dubbed “Central America Lite,” “the
other Caribbean” and “the gateway to the world’s second largest barrier reef.”
With all that warm press and tourist traffic passing through, you’d
expect Belize City to have kicked its nagging reputation as the sorriest
port o’ call on either edge of the Caribbean.
Crime. Drugs. Dilapidation. Welcoming committees of bored, desperate
touts. A vibe that screams
avoid-being-out-after-dark-and-wait-for-your-real-itinerary-to-begin.
Belize City has it all.
When your own Director of Tourism owns that Belize’s main transport
hub is “consistently rated as the worst destination” among cruise
passengers, something more than the city’s famous
swing bridge may need adjusting.
Until then, it’s full speed to the puddle jumpers and water taxis.
9. Cairo
There are other cities coping with even more
crippling air pollution, maniacal driving, ridiculous traffic,
overpopulation and post-revolution stress -- though not too many, and
none we can think of that travelers would ever put very high on a
sightseeing list.
Cairo, of course, impels us to come anyway -- which naturally breeds some resentment.
Home of the world’s last remaining ancient Wonder and an incomparable
wealth of history and antiquities that rank high on any serious
globetrotter’s bucket list, visitors these days are forced to turn more
than just a blind lung to a recent World Health Organization report that
equates
breathing in this city with smoking a pack a day.
“Avoid the crowds and protests and it should be fine otherwise,” advises one recent visitor on Lonely Planet’s Thorn Tree.
“We can't predict what will happen, but keep your ear to the ground and you should be OK,” hedges another.
It needs to be asked: Was modern Cairo really what Pharaoh Khufu had in mind in his 5,000 Year Plan?
8. New Delhi
Travel scams happen everywhere. But few cities
fuel as much lengthy discussion and strategizing about them as India’s
sprawling capital -- arguably the world’s favorite place for travel
forum junkies to dish on their favorite travel forum topic:
How to avoid getting fleeced outside the airport, at the train station, at your hotel and everywhere in between.
“There are plenty of cons to be aware of,” blogs TravBuddy in a post
entitled "Scam City: Delhi’s Tourist Hustles and How To Avoid Them
," which lists
several popular ones by name:
The "Government Tourist Office" scam; The "Hotel Commission" scam; The
"Fake Train Station" scam; The "Airport Transfer" scam, etc.
Learn these. Commit them to memory. Then go out and freely soak in
the opulence of New Delhi, the breathless chaos of Old Delhi -- the
otherworldly extremeness of it all, knowing that your street savvy is
really no match for a place that makes New York look prenatal.
“Avoiding scams and touts in Delhi,” posts travel community site,
traveldudes.org, “the chances are really high that you will be scammed anyway.”
7. Jakarta, Indonesia
Jakarta isn’t nicknamed “The Big Durian” (thorny, odorous fruit you might actually enjoy if you give it a chance) for nothing.
“It is a very demanding city from a traveler’s perspective, full of
surprises and awaiting difficulties,” notes one TripAdvisor expat who
came to love Jakarta after six months. “Once you get to know it, you
can’t have enough of it.”
The obvious snag. Indonesia’s 8 million annual tourists arriving at
this springboard to Bali, Yogyakarta, Sumatra -- anywhere but here --
spend on average 7.84 days in Indonesia according to a 2011 study by the country’s Central Bureau for Statistics.
How long will it take most visitors to decide they haven’t enough
time to gain an insider’s appreciation about this sprawling city choked
with traffic, pollution, poverty and tourist “draws” largely revolving
around random street adventures and an epidemic of malls?
About 7.84 seconds.
6. Lima, Peru
Latin America’s fifth-largest metropolis may
be marginally cleaner than Mexico City, somewhat safer than Sao Paulo
and way more beach-friendly than La Paz, yet Lima continues to quietly
suffer from the worst, if well-meaning, curse in travel circles: being
constantly described as a place that’s not nearly as dull as everyone
else keeps saying it is.
“If you’re prepared to delve into the nooks and crannies of this massive city, then you can find plenty to admire,”
blogs one Lima supporter,
after delivering the mortal blow that “most people that I’ve spoken to
about Peru don’t really rate Lima. It’s ugly, it’s boring, it’s not
traditional enough, are the main complaints I’ve heard.”
“Who knew we'd love Lima so much?” opines another blogger. “My
Spanish teacher said it was boring. Lonely Planet didn't make it sound
exciting. Others yawned through it -- but four times wasn't enough Lima
for me!”
“For much of the year, a smog hangs over Lima. The city looks washed
out and monochrome. When you combine this with years of news (and
rumors) about Lima being unsafe, shabby or just plain boring,” opines
Time Out in its
defense of Lima, it’s no wonder people overlook “Latin America’s best-kept secret.”
Blame it on that herd mentality, but until Lima’s staunchest fanbase
stops going on about how everyone else mistakenly finds the place
insufferable, it’s a one-way ticket to Machu Picchu, please.
5. Los Angeles
To clarify, we’re talking about the one in
California. Not Los Angeles, Texas (pop. 20), a little spot near San
Antonio that adopted the name in 1923 as an unsuccessful promotional
stunt. Nobody you know has anything bad to say about that place.
Not so for this center-less megalopolis sloppily carved into about 90
sub-cities, over 20 ailing freeways, countless area codes and a
half-million strip malls with mediocre Thai food.
How did a semi-arid desert without a decent water supply get so huge -- and so hugely disliked?
Stealing water didn’t help, but that was a long time ago.
“When you get there, there is no there, there,” says one of many
underwhelmed L.A. bashers on quora.com, who adds that tourist traps like
Hollywood are a total bummer.
So are earthquakes, race riots, traffic pileups, smog reports,
constant sirens and the irksome sense that people who live here are okay
with all of that because the weather’s nicer than wherever they moved
from.
However it happened, “I hate L.A.” has evolved into a kneejerk not
just for obvious rivals like San Francisco but virtually every other
American city full of folks who may never have actually been to L.A. but
can just imagine.
Not even Randy Newman can sing over a PR mudslide like that.
4. Timbuktu, Mali
A century ago, the world’s most tenacious
travelers may have been awarded a brief thrill upon reaching this
legendary trans-Saharan trading center hiding in the middle of nowhere.
But even then, Timbuktu was nearly half-a-millennium past its golden
years and largely relying on the travel industry’s most dubious selling
point: being so ridiculously remote and unspectacular that even the
dictionary references you as “any extremely distant place.”
Today, according to a recent British survey, a third of the
public doesn’t believe that Timbuktu actually exists.
Among the remaining two-thirds are those romantic,
off-the-beaten-path travelers who’ve fought tooth and claw to get all
the way out here only to find a stifling, sand-strewn cluster of shabby
buildings staving off desertification.
3. Paris
Paris inspires a certain love-hate relationship.
Not just for fans of old Renoir or Chevy Chase movies, but for
travelers too -- who inspired us to feature this singular place twice.
Here and in last week’s column: “
World's most loved cities.”
What do people love about Paris? If you don’t already know, click the link to find out.
In the meantime, what do people not love about Paris, aside from the
usual rude waiter stereotypes, crazy lines at the Louvre and the city’s
knack for rekindling long-kicked smoking habits about 10 minutes after
landing?
“I was wondering what was so special about the 'French Breakfast' that I saw advertised everywhere we went,”
comments a frequent Paris traveler
on VirtualTourist, who sat down and ordered one during his first visit
to the city. “For 20 euros you get a croissant, butter, three ounces of
hot chocolate, three ounces of orange juice and a small baguette. Are
you kidding??”
“Don’t be too easily flattered as you approach the Place du Tertre in Montmartre,” another visitor warns about
platoons of starving artists
bombarding first-timers to have their portrait done. “I've now lost
count of the number of times we've been told that [my husband] has
'interesting hair.’”
“I just read of someone’s four-hour wait to ascend the Eiffel Tower
and recalled the coldest I had ever been -- the day I waited atop the
platform on the Eiffel Tower, waiting to go to the next level.”
“We made our way to the catacombs hoping to find an extraordinary
sight,” says another. “Unfortunately, it was nothing but rooms and rooms
and rooms full of bones.”
Every legendary city suffers some degree of overhype. About the food,
the views, the charming street scene, the faint possibility of jumping
into a car at the stroke of midnight and riding into a more exciting era
with Ernest Hemingway & friends, etc.
But the dreamy expectations reserved for Paris -- propagated by
generations of writers who haven’t been here in awhile -- are in their
own league.
What first-timer here isn’t going to be a little disillusioned after
wandering around for hours with checklists, arrondissement maps and
dog-poop-soiled shoes without finding a decent place for a quick bite?
2. Sydney & Melbourne (or Melbourne & Sydney)
Australia’s
top two cities would be nowhere near this list if it weren’t for the
177 straight years of utter hatred they’ve reserved for each other.
Since the founding of Melbourne in 1835 (by exactly the kind of
pennywise, do-gooder farmboys that Sydney’s felon founders had no
patience for), Sydneysiders and Melburnians have been loathingly
distinguishing themselves from each other in ways that would make
Toronto and Montreal blush.
Still, they may have overlooked the greatest source of antipathy of all, notes
Anthony Sharwood in The Punch.
“Sydney and Melbourne have much, much more in common than either of
them ever care to admit.” In fact, “Melbourne is the city in the world
most similar to Sydney.”
About 4 million multicultural residents spread across a trendy
downtown area with sprawling suburbs, high home prices, a vibrant food
and arts scene, Australian TV and radio stations, the occasional
bushfire and an intense repugnance for a certain unspeakable place 720
kilometers away.
Which city are we talking about here? Either Melbourne or Sydney, perhaps?
But wait. There is a startling difference. Last year, The Economist ranked Melbourne the “
World’s Most Livable City” with 97.5 points. Sydney came in sixth in this same survey with 96.1 points.
Do the math. These places are like fire and ice.
1. Tijuana, Mexico
Sign reads "No more kidnappings." Need we say more?
Last year, says
BajaInsider.com,
Tijuana had a lower murder rate and fewer carjackings than Philadelphia
in spite of having a police force a third the size -- so why is there a
Department of State Travel Warning for TJ and not for Philly?
But never mind all those obvious, glossed-over comparisons between Tijuana and urban Pennsylvania.
The point is that while there are even dicier border towns, cheesier
drinking holes, wearier haggling magnets and gloomier border crossings
(sorry, folks, drug-screenings take time) than Tijuana, it’s hard to
find an undiscriminating tourism hub that’s taken a bigger hit in the
public eye lately.
According to a recent Worldfocus report, Tijuana’s annual tourism
numbers have plummeted by as much as 90 percent in less than 10 years,
and other research estimates that visitor-related revenue has
declined by almost as much over a similar period.
Drug cartel violence. The recession. Recent swine flu outbreaks. If any place can rebound from all this, it’s TJ.
But when Southern California marketing firms start shying away from
that age-old pitch -- “Come to San Diego and be in a foreign country in
20 minutes” -- that’s when you have to wonder if all those never again
regulars kind of mean it this time.
Source: travel.cnn.com
